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School life and home life should complement and reinforce one anotherEmma McKendrick, Head of Downe House Boarding at Downe House is specifically tailored to meet the needs of girls in the Lower School (11+ and 12+), the Senior School (13+ to 15+) and the Sixth Form, but, irrespective of when your daughter joins us, we’ll be there to support her on her journey through the different stages of her school career. One of the cornerstones of our success in turning out confident, self-possessed young women, well equipped to face the challenges of life beyond the school gates, is our relationship with you as parents. We believe that school life and home life should complement and reinforce one another. In order for this partnership to work to the best advantage, communication is key. At no time is good communication more crucial than during those times when you might find yourself posted to Afghanistan or Iraq. We like to think that, while you’re doing your job, it’s our job to look after your daughter and to make sure she’s fully supported. It’s important to remember that many children worry about their parents, even when their job is the most mundane imaginable. Our highly experienced pastoral staff understand this, and you can rest assured that there will always be someone on hand to help your daughter manage her worries. It’s amazing what a cup of hot chocolate and a chat can do! Our aim is not only to allow your daughter the space to voice her quite understandable fears about you, but also to encourage her to develop the kind of emotional resilience that will help her to cope with life’s difficulties. So how is the communication going to work? Well, there are lots of ways we’ll keep in touch with you. A variety of publications, including the calendar of events and our newsletter, Downe to Business, are sent termly. There’s also the weekly bulletin. For more personal information about your daughter, a password will allow you exclusive access to her profile on the extranet, our secure website for parents. You can view her reports there and take care of other business, like signing up for extra-curricular activities. You can even receive SMS messages, keeping you posted about fixtures and so on. Obviously, we’ll be sending you regular reports, and annual parents meetings will provide you with opportunities to speak to your daughter’s teachers in person. In addition, we have a one-to-one tutor system so, in between times, your daughter’s tutor will keep in touch with you regularly about your daughter’s progress, and can be contacted directly by you, too. But, at the end of the day, your relationship with your daughter’s housemistress or housemaster (yes, we do have some!) is crucial. No enquiry – pastoral or academic – is too insignificant for house staff to deal with. When it’s not easy to find the time to telephone, a quick email is a great way of staying in touch, and house staff will respond as quickly as possible. Email will more than likely be your daughter’s preferred means of keeping in touch with you and she will have her own school email address. Mobile phones are marvellous, especially if you’re abroad, but if you need to get in touch with your daughter urgently and she’s not answering her mobile, you can phone the house and ask the member of staff on duty to pass on a message. Houses are manned 24/7 and, even if you have to leave a voicemail message, answering machines are cleared frequently. Finally, looking after girls is our job and we love doing it. Boarding school can never be a substitute for family life but it can be an incredible experience for children and an invaluable resource for parents. Our promise to you is that, although your daughter will be part of a community, she will always be an individual to us. In partnership with you, at Downe House we will help her to fulfil her academic potential but she’ll also learn to be herself, which is more than any parent or any school can ask.
There are several girls at Downe House whose parents are in the Services – we asked three of them to give their personal account of boarding life at their school in Berkshire.
Charlotte (aged 18) daughter of Major General Richard Barrons CBE writes: ‘One of the significant advantages of boarding school, when your dad is in the Forces, is that it keeps you busy and distracted throughout the week and at weekends. It provides you with a stable environment and prevents the perhaps daunting and disrupting procedure of having to move every two or three years. I have had an incredible opportunity to make a firm group of friends for life. When you are the only one not being picked up by a parent, it can be hard, but on the majority of the weekends, your friends are there for you and take you out. My friends have really helped me cope with my dad serving overseas.’
Sophie (aged 14), daughter of Brigadier James Bashall, writes: ‘Spending time with my friends has helped me to keep my mind off the idea that my father is away fighting, and this has been so helpful. I think that not seeing your family as often means that when you do have time with them it is more special. I am so lucky to be at a school with such a huge range of activities available at the weekend and in the evenings. I would definitely recommend boarding to any other children whose parents are in the Armed Forces.’
Pandora (aged 16), daughter of Colonel Greville Bibby, writes: ‘For the most part, having my father away in Afghanistan made little difference to my day-to-day life at school. In fact, I often thought I was lucky boarding: if I had been at a day school, I would have noticed his absence a lot more. Skype made communication with him more frequent than when he was working at home. Of course I worried constantly, despite the reassurance from both my parents and house staff, especially during those summer months last year. The school was really supportive and let me go home when he was on R and R.’
Major General Richard Barrons CBE has been a parent at Downe House since 2004; his eldest daughter left in 2009 and Charlotte is in the lower sixth. He says: ‘Choosing Downe House six years ago was based on the clear understanding that, regardless of whether I was around or not, the school would deliver as good a path to academic and wider development as it is possible to provide. It was also imperative that the pastoral care and social opportunities would counterbalance the inevitable and considerable strains of long periods of family separation, and the uncertainty about quite what I was doing. The house staff have all played a vital part in supporting a smooth day-to-day life, whatever the concerns of the moment. Extra-curricular adventures, such as the US lacrosse tour for one daughter and debating trips for the other, have also made a substantial difference. Closing the gap between home and the Front now relies heavily on regular access to email and occasional phone calls, and when at home Skype is the answer. Though not always easy, the recipe has worked magnificently well – in fact I am writing this from Kabul – and our experience is enduring proof of Downe’s quality and substance.’
Charlotte adds: ‘I’ve been attending boarding school ever since I was eight years old and not once have I regretted it. Wherever my dad was working, be it home or abroad, I have constantly been surrounded by supportive friends and caring house staff that were always ready to listen. The vibrant life of Downe House means he is reassured by the knowledge that I am enjoying myself, and it has always been easy to keep in touch!’ Major General Richard Barrons CBE Having joined the Army when he went up to Oxford as a PPE student in 1977, the first ten years were focused on the closing stages of the Cold War and the next ten mostly connected with the Balkans – including some two years in Bosnia and six months in Kosovo. He also served for two years as a Brigade Commander, and recently completed a tour of duty as a Major General working with US Forces. The next move this summer will be to a very different life in Whitehall as Assistant Chief of the General Staff. Major General Barrons is also Chairman of the Royal Artillery Museum Ltd and co-author of The Business General, first published in 2006. |
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Emma McKendrick studied German and Dutch at Liverpool University and obtained postgraduate qualifications at Birmingham University. She started her teaching career at the Royal School, Bath, and was Head of Careers and the Sixth Form, a Housemistress and Deputy Head, before taking on the headship in 1994. In 1997 she became Head of Downe House in Newbury. She is a governor of King’s School Canterbury and Radley College, a number of prep schools and a member of the Independent Schools Examination Board. She is also a Fellow of the RSA.
